Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get angry with someone? It's way easier to blame someone else for your problems, for your unhappiness, for your failure, than it is to blame yourself. Because even the people filled with self-loathing tend to treat themselves like a flawless and glorious unicorn, unable to do any wrong, spreading only love and warm feelings.
Other people, though, are the troll under the bridge that snatches the billy goats and eats them. They are disgusting and hateful and mean. They only want to hurt other people and see them suffer.
So, naturally, we get angry with the troll and let the unicorn run free.
We find it easy to call people names, to lash out. When they don't agree with us, they are obviously wrong and sometimes just being difficult. They might be unintelligent or backward or just plain evil. Why can't they just see that they are being so wrong and that we're right?
I heard a woman from India describe this exact situation. She said that it's widespread; she sees it in her own country and throughout all the countries in the West. In her experience, people wear their opinions like a second skin. When you attack their opinion, you have attacked them personally.
But, this is ridiculous. Because we are all different people, we have different experiences. Our different experiences reveal themselves in our different points of view. For example, someone raised with religion will probably see people differently from someone raised without it (i.e., created in the image of God vs. Darwinian evolution). This doesn't mean that either one is stupid or backward; it doesn't mean that they should be angry with each other; it certainly doesn't mean that they should call each other names or perpetuate violence against the other.
People are all people. We can disagree without anger or hatred.
I have not found one person that I 100% agree with on 100% of the issues, 100% of the time. And I never will. Because if I did, that person wouldn't really be a person; it would simply be a carbon-copy clone of me. How boring is that? (Besides the fact that this world should not be cursed with more than one of me in it.)
I am so glad that I haven't found a carbon-copy of me. I disagree with people about Biblical interpretation, about political ideology, about social justice. I have disagreed with people about what color my sweater was on any given day. (Spoiler alert: they were probably right since I'm slightly colorblind.)
Every disagreement I have has taught me something. It has broadened my perspective and allowed me to include something into my worldview that I would not have ever experienced for myself. I have learned and integrated things that I would never want to experience or that I would never have known anything about if I hadn't found a disagreement.
And here's the really crazy part. I have found out that I've been wrong sometimes.
OUTRAGEOUS, right? How could I be wrong about something - about anything - when I am such a magical unicorn and everyone else is a disgusting troll!
Because no one is a unicorn or a troll. We're all just people.
This is something that I think we can easily forget. Just think for a second about the fact that every person that you have ever come across has the same deep and expansive internal life as you. The way that you look out and see other people is the way that others look out and see you. The way you develop feelings or get lost in imagination is the way that others develop feelings or get lost in imagination.
Again, not everything will be exactly the same because we are all different. But, every living person has thoughts and feelings and memories and emotions swirling around inside them - just like you and I do.
It's super weird to think about. But, when I do, when I realize that someone who just told me that I am wrong about something is not so different from me after all, it makes me stop and reevaluate how I'm going to treat them.
Because how would I want to be treated? As a person - or as a troll?
The military has a saying: "Mission first, people always." I don't really know what it means to those that live under it. But, I understand it to mean that the objective is important and completing it is ideal, but, when it comes to sacrificing the mission or the people, people should always come first. Obviously, there will always be casualties in war, but everything should be done to avoid high or devastating casualties.
This applies to interpersonal relationships. My opinion is important; being right is great. I would love to have my ideals succeed - politically and socially. But, my ideals should never be more important than my neighbor. I should never sacrifice courtesy and kindness to "further" my cause. Name-calling and violence are not acceptable. The end of my personal success does not justify the means of hurting other people in the process.
I wouldn't want someone to put their personal goals for society above being kind to me. It's happened; I'd rather it not happen again. But, I have also politely disagreed with others - courtesy and kindness over passion and ideology.
Because we aren't two different camps of unicorns and trolls. We're all just people.
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